Gift Giving Like You Mean It
Let’s talk about gift giving and Black Friday, the day millions of us swarm to malls and department stores looking to score the best deal on the latest and greatest merchandise.
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We know the depths Black Friday shoppers will go to: camping outside of stores the night before doors open or hurling themselves onto the last PlayStation4 as if it were a live grenade. Some shoppers are so passionate they throw punches. A maddening frenzy takes place. But violence aside, I find Black Friday strange.
I’ve been to some Black Friday sales with my mother and aunt once I can recall, but I’ve never sought them out by myself. Last year, I tagged along and bought a blue purse that my aunt nearly fought me for. This year, I didn’t participate at all. Why? The simplest answer would be I don’t have money or time for that.
But a bigger reason exists, as well: I know how to best express my love to those closest to me and it isn’t with the gifts that everyone else is buying; it isn’t with the latest and greatest merchandise that sits on the shelves in very store in America. It’s with something unique. With something that shows how much I know them.
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Since I was a young child, I’ve prided myself on being the best gift-giver. When I was about 7 years old, I saved up $15 and bought my mother a yellow jewelry box with brass tassels from a locally owned antique store; not for a holiday or a birthday, just to show I appreciated her. (Yes, I’m bragging.)
When I was in my early 20s, I drove to the eastside to have KLAQ’s Buzz Adams sign a CD of funny sound clips from his morning show as a present for my brother’s birthday. And on Christmas around the same time, I won what seemed like a competition between my brother and I — I got mom the best gift. I haggled with a street merchant and got my mother a white, caramel and cocoa brown area rug with Kokopellis on it, which fit her southwest taste of décor. She cried with joy. (I win, big brother!)
Point is: What I seek as a shopper isn’t on sale. I seek a gift so personalized that the receiver didn’t know they wanted it or even knew it existed. So to fight the crowds – sometimes literally – on Black Friday seems counter productive to me.
Want to show your loved ones you love them? Spend time with them instead of in line with strangers, and spend a few months or weeks thinking about what to get them for the holidays. Have it on your mind all year long and when you pass by a Stretch Arm Strong at one of the antique shops on Doniphan, you’ll know what to get me. (A less than subtle hint.)
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Or if you see a tile mosaic class in EPCC’s personal enrichment course catalogue, remember that your aunt really enjoyed her pottery classes this summer and would probably enjoy learning how to create mosaic art more than she would a 32-inch flat-screen TV. Any gift is a show of generosity, but the gift of a TV or a game console isn’t exactly personal. All it takes to buy electronics or a Michael Kors purse is money – and lots of it – but a unique gift that is after the heart of it’s recipient takes thought and a course of action. Tracking down an Van Halen tour T-shirt from 1986 isn’t the easiest, but for your uncle who was at that concert in ‘86 and had his shirt stolen by an ex in ’87, it’s a gift better than any other money could buy.
How much you spend on a gift doesn’t matter to your loved ones – or it shouldn’t. So, an expensive gift isn’t a better gift. Don’t get me wrong – if your best friend just moved into a new home and needs a blender or a coffeemaker, then that’s a good gift and something you could get for the best price on Black Friday. But save yourself the hassle and shop online. Black Friday deals are available online, too. But before you buy that blender, consider this: they can likely get a blender themselves. What they can’t get themselves – because they didn’t know it could be theirs – is a personalized doormat that looks like a giant mix tape.
Aside from trolling Etsy or Craigslist for unique finds, the most unique gifts can be found at local businesses, like Dreadful Things, where I found a black baseball cap with Frankenstein on it for my brother for his birthday earlier this year. Another reason Black Friday deals don’t make sense — if you’re going to spend money wouldn’t you want it to go to a local business? Combine gift giving with a desire to boost the local economy and you’ve got a beautiful thing.
If you’re an artist, let yourself be inspired by your loved one and paint them something. A handcrafted gift is the most unique and personalized gift you can give. More impressive than spending hours at the mall is spending hours on a project intended as a gift. It’s something no one else in the world possesses. It’s something made for only you. A handmade gift is one of the most intimate expresses of love.
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Put your heart into gift giving and you’ll know why they say it’s better to give than to receive. Make your mama cry with joy and you’ll know what it’s like to be a boss. Santa ain’t got nothing on you.
