5 Reasons You Want to be Reincarnated as a Bonobo
Our closest living relatives in the animal kingdom are the bonobos, with whom we share more than 98 percent of our DNA and are more closely related to us than they are to gorillas, according to the Lola ya Bonobo, an organization that cares for bonobos orphaned by illegal trade.
While we’re stuck in the rat race, sweating to make a dollar or a dime and begrudging each other instead of loving each other, Bonobos, our wildlife sisters, are doing it right. Emphasis on "doing it."
Image provided by giphy.com.
"Gotta work to buy the gas to get to work, out of my way!”
A skeptic? Please, read on, homo sapien.
1. It’s a woman’s world.
In bonobo life, males are never in charge. An anomaly in the animal kingdom, the dominant bonobo in any group is female, despite being of a smaller physical size than her male counterpart. Female bonobos stick up for each other, using their strength in numbers to prevent any male from becoming aggressive.
Image provided by redpoppyseeds.wordpress.com.
2. At last, my peace has come along.
According to Lola ya Bonobo, the fact that males are not in charge is the main reason for the peaceful nature of bonobo life — bonobos have evolved to become much less aggressive than their ape relatives, including humans. (Ouch!) Unlike humans and chimpanzees, which tie bonobos in being most closely related to humans, bonobos don’t murder one another. A bonobo killing another bonobo has never been recorded or reported being seen. In Bonobo life, there is no war.
Image provided by bonoboproject.org.
"Shh, baby, everything's gravy — we're bonobos."
3. Because sharing is caring.
Being the peaceful creatures they are, bonobos don’t fight. In a situation that would cause conflict, such as two bonobos finding a single piece of fruit, bonobos experience an increase in cortisol, which is related to stress. Chimpanzees experience an increase in testosterone, which causes them to be competitive and aggressive. Bonobos relieve their stress by seeking social reassurance and acceptance through physical touch, a hug or sex. After comforting each other through the stress of a potential conflict, bonobos share instead of fight.
4. You'll do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.
According to a Scientific American article published in 1995 — so we’ve known this for minute — sexual interactions occur between bonobos more than any other primate and bonobos are known to have the most face-to-face copulation, much like humans.
Image provided by redpoppyseeds.wordpress.com.
In fact, the frontal orientation of the bonobo vulva and clitoris strongly suggest that the female genitalia are adapted for the missionary position, noted researcher Frans B. M. de Waal.
Although bonobos get busy all day err day, the bonobo's rate of reproduction in the wild is about the same as that of the chimpanzee — a female gives birth to a single infant at intervals of between five and six years. This suggests that, like us, bonobos put a partial separation between sex and reproduction. Sex is not just for reproduction.
Image provided by bonoboproject.org.
"Rachael, you should know it's my duty to please that booty."
Sex is so common in bonobo life it is lovingly referred to as a “bonobo handshake.” Genital-to-genital rubbing occurs in every combination, including female-to-female and male-to-male.
5. You'll have neighbors friendlier than Flanders.
Lola ya Bonobo research has shown that bonobos are charitable, perhaps even more so than humans. People, generally, feel comfortable offering assistance only to relatives and friends. But because bonobos have adopted sharing instead of fighting as a way of life, they prefer to share food with strangers.
Live the bonobo life and you'll drink in the best existance has to offer. (IPhones be damned.)
